I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
