Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
