Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
