So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
