Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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