so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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