Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
