Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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