how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
