yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
