Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
