Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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