He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
