I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
