Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
