At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
