Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
