yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
She has the best kind of daddy issues
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
