ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
