For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
