Are we in a gay sports bar?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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