but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
