Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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