You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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