anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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