Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
