I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
