and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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