I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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