dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i love accidental penises.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
