so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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