we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
