she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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