i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
