Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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