Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
