Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
