If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
