What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
