He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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