And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
it's great music for shaving your balls
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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