You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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