"it" just moved
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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