You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She's the barista slut.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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