I just made out with a guy for $7.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
