Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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