evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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