Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
