we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
