Michael Bay diarrhea
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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