sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize