I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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