dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Randomize
