blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
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My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize