if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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