its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
