You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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