I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
