BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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