giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
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I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
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If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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