I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
