fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
