I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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