WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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