You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
