All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
