She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
